My Son and Bansalan

(I’ve been writing my journals since I was 19. From time to time I re-read some of my entries, the period when my two boys were just small kids. I remembered that when my eldest son Michael was just 5 years old we had an interesting conversation about my hometown Bansalan, Davao Del Sur. The mother-and-son conversation went more or less this way…)

Why is the color of your eyes black, Mamma?

Because I am a Filipino.

What is a Filipino?

Look, son. The people here in the Netherlands are called Dutch just like your Papa. I am from the Philippines and so I am Filipino. Every country – and there are many countries all over the world – has a name for their own people.

But where is the Philippines located, Mamma?

It’s a distant country, far from where we are now. That’s where your grandma lives. You only reach it if you take the plane and travel night and day.

How come you are here in Holland?

Oh, that’s a long story. Maybe I will tell you next time.

Are there tigers and elephants in the Philippines?

Oh no, where did you get the idea?

What about monkeys?

Sure there are still monkeys!

What about snakes? Do you have snakes in the Philippines?

Yes. I remember when I was your age, I saw snakes a couple of times crawling by the riverbank not far from your grandma’s house. I was told they were not of the dangerous type, but just the same, I was terribly scared.

Are there plenty of big trees where Oma Helen (Lola Helen) lives?

Yes. A long time ago, I used to climb our guava and mango trees, but the fruit trees are not there anymore. They cut the trees because we needed space for our house and garden. We had also plenty of trees, really big ones in the forests. You know your grandma lives near the foothills of Mt. Apo, the highest mountain in the Philippines. We don’t have mountains here in Holland so I cannot make a comparison. You know the tall Euromast in Rotterdam, don’t you? Well, our mountains are much taller than the Euromast. But there are not much trees anymore in our forests.

Where have all the trees gone?

Where? I remember there was a logging company operating in our town. Your grandpa used to work in the sawmill as a mechanic. Everyday large trucks transported many trozos, big timbers from the mountain and brought them to the sawmill. Where they brought the lumber I exactly don’t know. But I vaguely heard stories when his workmates came to our house for a drink; I still remember they talked about some Japanese guests visiting the sawmill. Funny, but I was six or maybe seven years old then, almost like your age, and somehow I still remember their faces.

When we visit Oma, can I take a swim in the river?

What about the river? Oh yes, the river. I remember taking a bath there early in the morning before going to school. We also washed our clothes there especially on Saturdays. You know what? I also enjoyed catching small fish called paitan with friends in the neighborhood. Alas, there are no fish anymore, and the water has become very dirty and shallow. Too bad, you cannot swim in the river anymore.

Why is your hair black, Mamma?

Because I am a Filipino and most Filipinos have black hair.

Is the Philippines near Africa? The people there also have black eyes and black hair. I saw them on TV?

Oh no. The Philippines is located on the opposite side of the globe. Let me show you. It’s here, down here. See that group of islands? It’s called an archipelago.

Are there also soldiers in the Philippines? There are plenty of them in Africa.

Oh yes, my son. Plenty of them.

Do they shoot and kill people?

Yes, they do. Sometimes. Several times. Many times, I guess. There are people who carry guns in the Philippines and just shoot anyone.

But why? Are the Filipinos bad?

No, they are not bad my son. It’s actually like this. There are plenty of people in the Philippines who are poor, very poor. They have no money to buy food, clothes and medicine. Parents have no money to send their children to school and to buy them toys. They want to change the situation. They want to improve their lives and to have a better future for their children. But some people do not like that the poor will change the situation. Some want change and they use guns to.... But why are you asking so many questions?

Because I want to know!

But why do you want to know so much? I can’t go on answering all of them.

Because I wonder why I have brown eyes. Your eyes are black, and Pappa has blue. Where did I come from Mamma?

My son, that’s all for today. Next time I will tell you more. When you are a bit bigger you will find out for yourself the answers to your questions. Now, do you already know why your Mamma has black eyes?

What about your eyes? I don’t remember what you said. I’m so sleepy.

Go to bed my son. Someday I hope you will remember. I really hope so just like I remember.

Published in MindaNews, 17 December 2005